How to Deal with a Workplace Bully

You can't control how others behave, but you can control how you deal with them. You might be happy with your job and not wish to leave, but if you need to quit, do so strategically.

Workplace bullies are in every profession, industry & income level; they can be loud and aggressive or lowkey with their actions. Either way, it's very unsettling. This post isn't conventional, as the advice is against the grain; there are times when reporting a co-worker or manager to HR would cause more harm than good. You need your job, and you need to keep it until you find another opportunity. We get it. What can you do if you feel like you are working for or with someone who is a bully? We will cover steps to protect yourself and move on to a better situation.

We all know the typical traits of a bully. We are taught that early on in life, but we usually don't look at the characteristics of one past high school. Bullies grow up, get married and have families. Sometimes a bully was at one time a victim; they learned how to become one as they had a good teacher, seeing that they got away with the behaviour.

The usual advice is to report any form of harassment in the workplace. Many people need to learn that the HR department's main task is to protect the company, not the employee. They will always protect the company, and it makes sense. Human Resources will help when there is evidence, as it's in their best interest to prevent lawsuits. However, they don't always help; sometimes, they can worsen the situation. So go to them as a last resort or talk to them when the timing is right.

You aren't alone if you are going through a rough time at work. The best advice is to document what is happening to you with the date, time and a brief scenario and to ensure all documentation is off the company's electronics & technology. Keep it somewhere safe.

Whenever possible, keep your interactions to a minimum. If that means going outside work to eat lunch or changing the time you have lunch, do it. Don't think of it as looking weak or that they win by doing this; you are really giving yourself a peaceful break and limiting their focus on you.

Use email and texting as your primary source of communication as it provides you with evidence (in writing) should they be foolish enough to slip up. They usually do, given enough time.

When dealing with them in person, if they become harsh or aggressive with their words, say, "I'm sorry. I can't tell by your tone if you are angry with me or having a bad day. Would you like to talk about it?". They aren't expecting you to comment on their behaviour. It will catch them off guard, make them stop and think, or bring out the worst in them and give you something to use to defend yourself, as your question wasn't combative.

Depending on the size of your workplace or department, other colleagues might be affected too. There is strength in numbers. See about having a system set in place to help each other out. For example, stand nearby if you see your co-worker interacting with this person (to witness their conversation).

There isn't any excuse for bad behaviour in the workplace, but by staying strong and having a plan, you will be able to cope better until you can change your situation. 

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THE GIOIA WELL TEAM The Gioia Well Team provides a panoramic view of wellness for the modern individual & family, showing our readers how to grow, learn and navigate their world with joy.